A Sailormoon Christmas Carol
by Fushigi Kismet
Summary: When Mamoru gets to be too much of a scrooge, the Senshi decide that something must be done to preserve the Christmas Spirit. Drastic measures are taken.


A Sailormoon Christmas Carol  
  
by Fushigi Kismet  
  
  
It had been fifteen years since the death of Mamoru's parents. It   
had been fifteen years since Christmas had really felt like Christmas   
to him. As the end of December neared, he fell into the grouchy and   
irritable temper that the holiday seasons always found him in.  
Usagi sighed, her fist posed above Mamoru's door ready to knock.   
A basket full of her toxic Christmas cookies(tm) hung from her left arm.   
She debated whether she should simply use her key or not, but decided   
against it, coloring as she remembered when she had walked in on him   
last time after he had just stepped out of the shower. It hadn't   
been as embarrassing for her as it had obviously been for him. She   
had never realized that grown men still played with bath toys. It   
had been a cute rubber ducky, though.  
No, she decided, it would be best if she knocked. She took   
another deep breath and rapped lightly on the door.  
The explosion from within was immediate. "YES?! WHO IS IT?!"   
Mamoru's voice snarled out.  
"It's me!" she called, from the other side of the hallway where   
his response had sent her scuttling.  
"Oh. I'll be right there," he said in a more subdued tone of   
voice.  
She pasted a bright smile on her face and stepped in front of the   
door once more. The door opened a crack and light from the hallway   
seeped through into his dim apartment. It opened a little further,   
creaking as though it hadn't been oiled in several years. Another   
creak, another few centimeters.  
Impatient, Usagi pushed with all her might against the door and it   
flew open with a bang. Dust flooded out into the hallway and she   
coughed a little before stepping inside. "Honestly, Mamo-chan, how   
long has it been since you cleaned in here?!"  
Her eyes gradually grew accustomed to the gloom and she only had   
time to think, I hope he's not obsessing over mirrors again . . .,   
before everything came into focus.  
She sighed a little in relief. Ah, good, no mirrors. That is,   
until she took a better look at his apartment. "Mamo-chan, it's a   
sty in here!"  
The normally neat as a pin apartment now did her own room shame .   
. . in terms of messiness, anyway.  
He shrugged. "Didn't feel like cleaning."  
She went up to him and stood on her tiptoes to feel his forehead.  
"Are you coming down with something?" He looked almost as unkept as  
his apartment. While unlike his apartment he *had* shaved, he didn't   
look a thing like the normal Mamoru. Of course, Usagi knew that he   
wasn't sick. She knew because he got like this almost every year.   
Well, there had been that one year with Luna and the Snow Kaguya . .   
. and afterwards he hadn't seemed unhappy, but that had been a fluke.   
After all, saving the world always came with a certain thrill. That   
was one of the pluses of being a superhero, she supposed. That and   
finding her true, destined love. Except for at times like these when   
she really didn't know if she wanted him to be her destined   
love.  
"Mamo-chan!" she whined. Usagi had always found whining to be an   
effective tool over the years. "Clean yourself up! Be more cheerful   
. . . it's Christmas Eve Day! My parents want you to come spend   
Christmas Eve with us and Christmas with us tomorrow! We're having a   
big Christmas party and it'll be lots of fun! I left your gift at   
home so you can open it there! Come on, Mamo-chaaaaan!!!!"  
He winced. He loved Usagi with all his heart . . . that was true   
enough. *However* he often wondered how she could be so cheerful at   
times. Like now. "Gomen, Usako . . . I don't think I can."  
"Mamo-chan, it's Christmas. You *have* to."  
"Bah humbug!" he snorted. He hadn't meant to say that . . . it   
just sort of slipped out.  
He blinked. She blinked.  
He shook his head. Must've been watching the Christmas Carol too   
much . . . That Scrooge had the right idea at first.  
She shot him a disgusted look. "Mamo-chan! It's Christmas! Try   
to be just a little bit agreeable!!!"  
"BAH HUMBUG!" they words flew out before he could stop them.  
She looked at him for an instant more, then flung her basket of   
cookies at him and stormed out the door slamming it shut.  
Mamoru was left alone in his apartment . . .  
. . . except for the cookies, that is.  
  
Usagi stormed down the street, muttering angrily to herself and   
blinking back tears. "Mamo-chan, you *don't* have to be *SUCH* a   
jerk at this time of year, do you?! I'm your family now, remember?   
Why can't you be happy being with me?!"  
Halfway home she slammed right into Minako.  
They both fell down.  
Hard.  
Minako rubbed at her rear as she got to her feet. She looked over   
at her fellow collision victim. "Usagi-chan?"  
Usagi sat on the ground, unmoving, staring at the pavement.  
"Usagi-chan? Daijobu?"  
Tears slowly began to stream down Usagi's face.  
"Are you hurt, Usagi-chan?"  
Usagi's bottom lip began to quiver . . .  
"Usagi-" Minako began but was interrupted by Usagi's wailing.  
"MINAKO-CHAN!!!! MAMO-CHAN IS SUCH A JERK!!! WHY CAN'T HE JUST   
BE NICE ABOUT CHRISTMAS?!!!!"  
"HUH?" Minako asked, confused. "What about Mamoru-kun?"  
"YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!" Usagi shouted, springing to her feet.   
"We have to teach him a lesson! We have to show him the true meaning   
of Christmas!!! MINA-P, YOU'RE A *GENIUS*!!!"  
"D-D-Demo . . . I-" Minako began as Usagi grabbed her arm and   
dragged her off in the direction of the Hikawa Jinga.  
"Don't worry, Minako-chan, I have a *PLAN*."  
That's what worries me! Minako thought, staring uneasily at the   
gleam in Usagi's eyes . . .  
  
Meanwhile, back in his apartment . . .  
  
Mamoru stared at the basket of cookies. He reached over to pick   
one up . . . Nah. He wasn't *THAT* desperate . . . not after   
Usagi's last batch of cookies had put him in the hospital for a week.   
But still, he *was* kind of hungry . . .  
  
At Hikawa Jinga . . .  
  
"He really said, "BAH HUMBUG"?!" Rei said, looking at Usagi with   
wide eyes.  
She nodded. "He really did."  
"Demo . . . that's so stupid."  
The odango atama nodded again. "I know. But we've still got to   
instill some Christmas spirit in him!"  
"And . . . let me guess, you want me to exorcise a Christmas   
spirit and stick it into his body?" Rei said skeptically, one eyebrow   
raised.  
"Close . . . but I'm not quite as dense as you pretend to think   
me, Rei-chan. If he's gonna act like Scrooge, then we're gonna teach   
him the same lesson, the SAME way!"  
"How?"  
"Leave it to me." Usagi smiled and the gleam in her eyes also   
alarmed Rei. "I already sent Minako-chan out to get everyone we   
need."  
"Like who?"  
"Who else?"  
  
"All right, no way!" Haruka said, her arms crossed defiantly in   
front of her chest. "I will have no part in this little scheme of   
yours!"  
The four Outer Senshi and the five Inner Senshi were gathered in   
Usagi's living room. A huffing, puffing, and totally exhausted   
Minako stood in one corner, leaning against the couch for support.  
"Um, hello," Usagi said, looking at Haruka, "since when did I make   
this a request? I'm your princess . . . you *have* to listen to me."  
Haruka sweatdropped. "You're making this an order?"  
"Yup!" Usagi answered eagerly. A little *too* eagerly.  
The older woman sighed. "All right then."  
"Any more objections?"  
"Why are Luna and Artemis not here?" Ami queried.  
"Luna would never go along with the plan and Artemis was too busy   
eating all of the Christmas cookies at Minako's house to be   
bothered."  
"Why that dirty little-" Minako fumed.  
"ANY more questions?!" Usagi asked.  
A deafening silence answered her.  
She smiled brightly. "Good. Here's the plan . . ."  
  
Thirty minutes later . . .  
  
"Usagi-chan, I hate to say this," Makoto began, "but you're off   
your rocker!"  
"No, this is going work. You just go find your outfit!"  
Setsuna coughed.  
"Yesss?" Usagi asked.  
"Perhaps it would be better if I started."  
Usagi looked her up and down. "Yeah . . . but not like that."  
  
That night . . .  
  
What's making that noise?  
Mamoru stepped out of his bedroom and saw Usagi standing in front   
of him, dressed all in white. "Usako, what are you doing here?"  
She ignored the question. "Tonight you will meet seven spirits   
and they will show you the true meaning of Christmas . . ."  
"Usako?"  
She vanished in a haze of light.  
He shook his head and turned to look at the half-full basket of   
cookies. Hallucinations again? I better take some of those to the   
lab tomorrow and analyze them.  
He opened his front door and looked around just to make sure.   
Nothing. Hmmm . . .  
  
"Good job, Ami-chan!" Usagi whispered from their perch outside   
Mamoru's apartment's windows.  
"Usagi-chan, it's freezing out here!" Sailor Mercury complained,   
shivering in the biting wind. They were a good twenty stories up and   
their position on the narrow ledge outside was precarious.  
"Everything went off without a hitch, though!" Usagi commented,   
smiling.  
Mercury clutched her mini-supercomputer closer to her. "Well, the   
holographic projections I rigged up my computer to emanate did seem   
to work nicely, but I still want to get down!"  
"Gomen, Ami-chan, you can get down as soon as Setsuna gets here."   
With that, Usagi transformed into Sailormoon and gracefully leapt   
from the wall of Mamoru's apartment building to the lower rooftop of   
the building next door.  
"Can you at least send me up a thermos of soup and some   
blankets?!" the Senshi of Ice yelled after her.  
"No prob, Minako-chan'll be up to keep you company!"  
And that's supposed to reassure me? Minako-chan will probably   
want to go CLIMBING! I just wanted to sit and study . . . She   
sobbed a little before settling back into her spot, resigned to the   
inevitable. Just then a snowflake fluttered down from the sky and   
landed on her nose. "Great. Just great. That's all that I need."  
  
Later that night . . .  
  
Mamoru was suddenly shaken awake. "What the-?"  
A candle floated over his bed. "Wakey wakey, Mamoru."  
"Uh . . . what strange dream dimension have I landed myself in?"  
Setsuna peered into his face. "Get up, Mamoru."  
"Setsuna-san . . . what are you doing here?"  
"I have come to show you the truth of your Christmas Distant   
Past."  
"In your bathrobe and pink bunny slippers?"  
She heaved a sigh. "Just never mind. Get up and get dressed.   
We're going!"  
"Going where?"  
"Didn't I already tell you?" She set the candle down with a thud.   
"Honestly, Mamoru-kun."  
She stepped outside his bedroom and shut the door. "Now, hurry   
up and get dressed!"  
A few minutes later he stepped out of his bedroom and found   
Setsuna sitting on his couch, still dressed in her bathrobe and bunny   
slippers, flipping through the channels and eating a bag of pretzels   
from his pantry. He decided not to ask.  
"Ah, you're ready," she said, getting to her feet. "Okay, put on   
your coat."  
He did so and with a certain abruptness (but still complete with   
wavy lights from Ami's computer) they were . . . elsewhere.  
"Don't we have to go through a time corridor to go anywhere?"  
She gave him a *look*. "I am a Christmas *spirit* . . . Just   
deal with it, all right?"  
"Sure . . . Whatever you say."  
"Ah, here we are in the beautiful Golden Palace of the Golden   
Kingdom. Time period: Silver Millennium right after Prince   
Endymion's, heir to the throne, fifth winter solstice. Take a look   
around. Try to remember something."  
Mamoru looked around at his beautiful surroundings, the golden   
fountains, well-tended but snow covered gardens, and newly swept   
gold-paved walkways. "Uh, don't you think this is just the tiniest   
bit extravagant?"  
"Hey, talk to your parents, not to me!"  
"My . . . parents?"  
Just then a little dark-haired boy ran outside, a puppy chasing   
after him. The little boy laughed and opened his arms wide for the   
little dog who jumped into them, knocking the small boy over as he   
wagged his tail furiously while licking the boy's face. "Duo! That   
tickles!!! Hey, hey!"  
"That's me!" Mamoru exclaimed, staring at the scene before him.  
"Endymion!" a melodious voice called out as a dark-haired woman   
gracefully made her way outside. "Endymion! Oh! There you are!   
You had better put your coat on dear . . . It's very cold out!"  
"Mother!" Endymion said, trying to hold the puppy still in his   
arms.  
She tried to hide a smile as she looked at him with kind grey   
eyes. "Oh, darling, a very merry winter solstice!"  
He smiled back at her, beaming. "Thank you for the puppy, Mom!"  
A tall, black-haired man stepped into the garden.  
"And thank you, Father!" the little boy shouted, the puppy getting   
the better of him with face-licking and tongue-lashing.  
"You are quite welcome, son. Now, take good care of that dog."  
"Yes, sir! I'm glad you could come home for once, Father! This   
is the best winter solstice ever!" he cried, getting up and playing   
with the dog.  
"Endymion! Your coat!" his mother cried.  
"Yes, ma'am! As soon as Duo calms down!"  
"You see, Mamoru," Setsuna whispered, "you haven't always hardened   
your heart to Christmas as much as you do now."  
"No," he murmured, "I haven't."  
Little Duo ran up to Mamoru and sniffing him, began barking   
excitedly, his tail wagging. "Excuse me, young man," the Queen of   
Earth said, noticing him, "what might I do for you?"  
"Here, Duo!" the boy called and the dog ran back to him.  
"Darling, let me handle this," the King of Earth said, motioning   
at his wife to take their son inside. "I thought we decreed that we   
would have no petitioners today? I wanted to spend some time with my   
family. What possible reason could you have for being here?"  
Mamoru stared at the little family before him. The boy and his   
dog had fallen silent now, staring at him with wide eyes. They   
think I'm a threat, he thought suddenly, miserably. They think I   
mean them ill . . . "It's nothing, Your Highnesses," he said   
gently. "I just came to wish you a Merry Christmas."  
"Christmas?" little Endymion repeated. He tugged on his mother's   
skirt. "Mother, what's Christmas?"  
"I think he means winter solstice, dear," she replied absently,   
staring at Mamoru.  
The King continued to look at him suspiciously, but the Queen   
placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's all right, dear." She   
walked up to Mamoru and, reaching out, took his hands in hers.   
"Thank you very much, young man," the Queen said, tears in her eyes.   
"A very Merry . . . Christmas to you as well."  
She glanced over at Setsuna. "Take care of him for me, would you,   
Sets?"  
The Senshi of Time nodded.  
The Queen let go of his hands and turning around, went to join her   
husband and son. They entered the castle together, the king shooting   
Mamoru one last suspicious look, little Endymion looking at him with   
open curiousity. The Queen did not turn back around.  
An instant later Setsuna and Mamoru were alone.  
"They could see us," he said, looking at her.  
"Did I say they couldn't?"  
"My mother *knew* . . ."  
"Yes, at this point in time the Queen had not much longer to live   
and she knew it. Today, somehow, she sensed that you were her son.   
It had always been a great wish of hers to see you grown . . . so I   
thought a glimpse of you would do no harm."  
"You compromised the timeline for a gift?"  
"It is a gift of love, Mamoru . . . there can be no greater love.   
Anyway, as I said . . . I am but a Christmas spirit."  
"So where to next?"  
"Your next guide will show you . . . You may wait for her by this   
apple tree."  
Setsuna made as though to leave but Mamoru caught hold of her arm   
first. "Setsuna-san?"  
"Yes?"  
"Domo arigato gozaimasu."  
The green-haired woman smiled. "For what?"  
"For helping my mother."  
"It was a pleasure as always."  
"Setsuna?"  
"Yes?"  
"Why wasn't she shocked at seeing you in your bathrobe and aren't   
you cold?"  
"Um . . . back in the Silver Millennium I was a little more   
*wild*, shall we say, than I am now. And, yes. Freezing." With   
that, she turned and left.  
Mamoru settled himself for a long wait by the snow-covered apple   
tree.  
  
Meanwhile, back in the present . . .  
  
"Hi, Ami-chan!"  
"Oh, Minako-chan . . ." the literally blue Senshi said, teeth   
chattering together. "Did you bring the thermos and blankets?"  
"Yup! I brought you a graphing calculator, too!"  
"A graphing calculator? How's that going to keep me warm?"  
"It's not . . . but check out the programs!"  
"Minako-chan! You have nothing but games in here!"  
"Of course! What else would you use a graphing calculator for? I   
brought chinese checkers, too, if you want to play later!"  
Ami rolled her eyes and started a long solitary game of tetris.  
"Okay, if you're going to be *that* way about it," Minako said,   
pouting. She slowly made her way along the ledge to Mamoru's   
apartment's balcony and took a flying leap onto it. Once there she   
opened the glass doors and took a step inside.  
"Minako-chan!" Ami hissed. "What are you *doing*?!"  
The blonde stuck her head out the doorway and looked back at her   
friend, confused. "Well, he's not going to be back until three or   
four, ne? I thought I would watch some TV. But hey, if you want me   
to stay out in the cold with you-"  
Ami pushed Minako inside and made her way in after her, securely   
latching the doors behind them. "Thank Kami-sama! He has *heat*!"  
"So?" Minako asked, looking over at the television Setsuna had   
left on. "The important thing is what'll we watch?"  
Ami picked up the TV listings on the table. "Hey, some of these   
are circled in red."  
Minako poked her head over to take a look. "What's that?!" She   
pointed at the lower left corner of the paper.  
Written in red was a note, "Just a few shows I thought you might   
like watching. Merry Christmas, Ami-chan & Mina-chan!  
-Setsuna"  
The two girls looked at one another.  
After a moment, Ami picked up the remote and plopped down on the   
couch. "She could've told me to come in!"  
"I thought you would be smart enough to figure it out on your   
own," Setsuna said, reappearing in the living room dressed in her   
Senshi uniform this time. "Where's Mako-chan?"  
The doorbell rang and Minako opened the door. Makoto stalked in,   
looking none too happy, and Ami and Minako only had a moment to   
stare, google-eyed at their friend before Setsuna whisked her away.  
"Was she really-?" Ami and Minako exchanged a look.  
"Um, let's not think about it. What's on?" Minako asked.  
"Oooh, late night anime! Here're some Gundam Wing reruns . . ."  
"Sugoi! You know I just love men in Gundams!"  
  
Back in the past . . .  
  
"Nice outfit," Setsuna commented, glancing sideways at Makoto.  
Makoto flushed. "Not one more word. Not one," she growled out.   
"So where the heck is he? I wanna get my part over with as soon as   
possible!"  
"Over there," Setsuna pointed. "You're sure you know what to do?"  
"Hai! Usagi went over everything with me when she was . . .   
getting my outfit ready."  
Setsuna couldn't help a snicker. "I'll bet. Okay, ganbatte ne!"  
"Arigato."  
  
"WHOOOOOO!!!! WHOOOOO WHOOOOO!!!!!!"  
Mamoru cracked open an eye, realizing that he must have fallen   
asleep against the apple tree. When he got a good look at what had   
woken him up, he changed his mind. He *had* to still be asleep   
because . . . he thought he was seeing . . . Makoto dressed up like a   
Christmas ham?  
"WHOOOOOO WHOOOOOOO!!!!" the giant ham repeated. "Mamoru-kun,   
hurry and wake up! I feel ridiculous!"  
"Mako-chan?" he asked warily, backing away.  
"Uh . . . NO! It is I, the Christmas Ham! The *SCARY* Christmas   
Ham and you will NEVER mention this episode to anyone else on pain of   
death! I am the Ghost - scary *scary* ghost - of Christmas Distant   
Past Present and I have come to show you the true meaning of   
Christmas!"  
"Mental Note: Usagi's cookies induce severe and frightening   
hallucinations in the eater. Eat at your own risk."  
Makoto the Ham giggled. "Come on, Mamoru-kun. Time to see your   
distant past present . . ."  
"How can I have a distant past present? The past is the past . .   
."  
Everything seemed to haze out . . .  
"And what is WITH that?!" Mamoru muttered, looking at the   
shimmering air about them.  
Setsuna quickly ducked back behind the tree she was hiding behind   
and shut off the haze-causing mechanism on Ami's computer. She   
nodded to herself as Makoto activated the time key with the special   
switch she had installed . . . Then Mamoru and Makoto had vanished   
through time and space and Setsuna followed them . . . discretely.  
  
Makoto looked about at their surroundings. "All right, here we   
are at the beautiful-"  
"I've heard this all before!"  
"Not quite . . ." Makoto said, gesturing at their surroundings.  
He gasped. "We're . . . on the Moon?"  
"Uh-huh. There you are over there . . . pretty depressed-looking,   
ne?"  
He looked over at where he sat desolately on the edge of a marble   
fountain. His past self looked about as old as his future self was   
at the moment.  
"This is you," Makoto whispered, "after you'd been living on the   
Moon for three years. If you remember, you were sent here as a   
diplomatic ambassador. You have just learned that your mother, who   
you haven't seen in over six years since you were away at school   
before coming to the Moon, has passed away."  
Mamoru felt tears sting the back of his eyelids. He had just seen   
his mother . . . She had been so kind to him.  
"Gomen nasai," Makoto said gently, as compassionate and   
sympathetic to the feelings of others as ever, despite the ham-suit.   
She knew what it felt like to lose one's parents.  
"Arigato," Mamoru said shortly, looking at his past self.  
"Duck!" Makoto hissed and Mamoru ducked reflexively behind the low   
wall they were hiding behind. Years of fighting against alien   
threats had instilled the reflex of responding instantly to warnings   
in him.  
A silver-white figure rushed by with a rustle of skirts.   
"Endymion!" she cried running towards him, then slowed and stopped   
before him. "Endymion?" she asked, gently, pain bleeding through in   
her voice. "I-I just heard."  
He looked up at her. "Heard what?"  
"About . . . your mother."  
He looked away. "Yes."  
She sat down next to him, her eyes anxious. "If there's anything   
I can do . . . Endymion! I don't know how to make it better!"  
"You can't," he said abruptly. "Why don't you just go and leave   
me for your balls and frivolities?"  
"Endymion . . ."  
  
"What is he doing?! The fool!" Mamoru growled, staring fixedly at   
the scene before him.  
"Endymion and Serenity were not very close. They rarely saw one   
another. She hit him on the head once with a parchment by mistake,   
he made some type of caustic comment, and they haven't been speaking   
to one another since."  
"Seems like history likes to repeat itself."  
"I hope not!" Makoto muttered, staring at her outfit. I had   
better *not* be doing this again in another thousand years . . .  
But Mamoru was too absorbed in the scene before him to notice.  
  
"Serenity. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You were   
simply being kind . . . It has been a long time since I have let   
anyone be kind to me. I fell out of the habit."  
"It's all right," she said looking at him. "You're a very complex   
individual, Endymion. I have often wondered what you think of."  
"I think of many things . . . mostly of what might have been had I   
not left Earth."  
"Oh? Do you miss someone you left behind? Some girl perhaps? Or   
do you simply find the Moon too unlike your own world. Have we not   
treated you well enough? I can order your servants to-"  
"No." He placed his hand over her mouth, silencing her. "It's   
not that. I left no one behind, save my parents . . . and my dog."   
He smiled a little, removing his hand. She looked at him, bemused.   
"The Moon is very nice and all of my needs have been seen to . . .   
There are simply things that I miss about Earth."  
"Like what?" Serenity asked, swinging her legs a little from where   
she perched at the edge of the fountain.  
"Like snow. Today is winter solstice day back home."  
"Winter solstice?" she asked.  
"Yes, a very special day. Were I home right now, the ground would   
be covered in snow. Today was mother's favorite day of the year."  
"Will you take me one day?" Serenity asked. "To see your home, I   
mean. To see this "snow" of yours."  
"Yes, Serenity," Endymion said, smiling. "I will take you."  
She put her hand on top of his. "Good, because I want to know all   
about it. All about something that can make you happy."  
"Why?" he asked.  
She smiled, getting up. "That's for you to find out."  
"Serenity," he said, a teasing tone in his voice as he stood up   
as well.  
She laughed and shook her head. "No! You'll just have to learn   
on your own." She took off at a run, but he soon caught up to her.  
"Merry winter solstice, Serenity," he said as he caught her in his   
arms.  
"Merry-Oh!" she said.  
"What is it, Serenity?" Endymion asked.  
"I'm sorry, it's nothing." I thought I just saw a . . . No,   
Serenity! No hams are *that* big! And they don't have arms and legs   
and heads, either! She turned back to Endymion. "A very Merry   
Winter Solstice to you too!"  
"Thank you, Serenity," he said, sobering as he looked into her   
eyes. "For taking my mind off of things."  
"I haven't been doing a very good job if you're thinking about   
them again," she chided herself. Then, in one of her characteristic   
impulsive displays, she kissed him full on the mouth.  
And he kissed her back.  
  
"There, you see!" Makoto said to Mamoru. "That was the beginning   
of a wonderful relationship right there! So Christmas *should* have   
a *little* meaning to you at least!"  
Mamoru shook his head. "No, that was solstice. And that was the   
past."  
"All right, fine! If I can't convince you, I know two spirits who   
can!"  
"*Two* spirits?"  
"That's right!"  
  
Setsuna shook her head, hopping back to the future and back to the   
past in less than thirty seconds. She dropped the two Senshi a few   
feet away from Mamoru and Makoto. A few feet *above* Mamoru and   
Makoto.  
  
"Haruka? Michiru?" Mamoru asked from beneath the tangle of   
bodies. "Where did you two drop from?"  
"The future," Haruka said immediately as she got to her feet, more   
than a little disgusted by the whole situation.  
"The distant future!" Michiru added, covering for her partner's   
slip.  
"Uh . . . Okay. Hey, where did Makoto go?!" the befuddled young   
man asked, looking about.  
"The Christmas Ham has returned to its place in the Cosmic   
Refrigerator that houses all good food spirits." I can't believe I   
just said that!  
Mamoru obviously couldn't believe it either. "Haruka, did you   
just say what I thought you said?"  
"I'm not Haruka! I am the biker Ghost of your Christmas Distant   
Past Future!"  
"Me too!" Michiru said, dusting herself off as she got to her   
feet.  
"And you've come to take me back home?" he asked hopefully.  
"Nope!" Haruka answered. "We've come dressed in black leather and   
chains to show you the folly of your ways, Earthling!"  
"Haruka, hon," Michiru whispered, "I think you're overdoing it   
just a little."  
"Come with us!" Haruka said, waving her arm dramatically into the   
hazy distance.  
Michiru rolled her eyes and pressed the button on the Time Key   
that Makoto had passed onto her during her hasty exit.  
"What is that haze doing back?!" Mamoru demanded to know as they   
vanished into the Distant Past Future.  
  
He took a good look around him. "Um . . . where are we?"  
"The Moon. After its civilization was completely destroyed by   
Metallia and Beryl and everything was wiped out by Saturn. Oh, it's   
also Christmas Day."  
"And this is supposed to show me what?"  
"That you should be thankful for what you've got!" Michiru said   
calmly. "You're alive, aren't you? You should be thankful for that.   
You have a girlfriend and a future daughter who love you . . .   
You've got a *great* bunch of friends ready to put up with SO MUCH   
nonsense just to make you happy! Think about it."  
"But don't think too long . . ." Haruka said in an ominous voice.  
"Can I ask you a question?" Mamoru asked.  
"Yes?"  
"If the entire civilization has been wiped out . . . how much air   
is left?"  
"Not much. Right, let's get out of here!" Haruka nodded at   
Michiru who depressed the button on the key. That zapped them right   
back into the present.  
  
Meanwhile a few seconds before in the present . . .  
  
Setsuna popped into the living room and saw that both girls had   
fallen asleep on the couch. "Ami-chan! Minako-chan! Wake up!"  
She heard a banging at the door and when she opened it Rei fell   
in. "It took you long enough!" the Shinto priestess said. "These   
guys kept looking at me and . . ."  
"Rei, you're in an evening gown and it's three o'clock in the   
morning. Any guys out at this time of night are *bound* to be the   
type to give you funny looks."  
Rei made a face.  
Minako yawned and shook Ami awake. "Ami-chan! Setsuna and Rei   
are here! Mamoru-kun should be here any moment!"  
Ami groggily got up and looked for her minicomputer. The lack of   
it woke her up fully. "My computer! Where is it!"  
"Here!" Setsuna tossed the device to her just as there was a glow   
of light and Haruka, Michiru, and Mamoru reappeared in the apartment.   
All four of them leapt behind the couch and hid there.  
Mamoru blinked. "Okay? Now what? I still have four or five   
Senshi left, right?"  
"But only three spirits!"  
Ami aimed her computer at the scene and the hazy lights reappeared   
. . . Temporarily blinded, Mamoru blinked, and when he turned back   
around he was met with the sight of Rei in a long blue evening gown   
instead of his two leather-clad guides of before.  
"Hey, Rei . . . Why can't anyone dress normally?"  
"I am the Ghost of Christmas Past! I have come to-"  
"Show me the true meaning of Christmas?"  
"Yeah. That." She waved her arms and Ami started the haze-maker   
on her computer back up again.  
Setsuna sent them into the past.  
  
In the past . . .  
  
Mamoru opened his eyes and looked around. "Hey . . . I remember   
this place. It's my house!" They were standing ouside of a little   
house. He peered in a window. "And that . . . That's my room!"  
"And that's you!" Rei pointed at the little boy who was laughing   
and playing with the new dart set and toy train he had gotten.  
  
"And Tuxedo Mask leapt onto the train and flung a dart at the evil   
Mr. Bad, saving the day once again!" the boy shouted, moving around a   
little action figure that he had outfitted with a cape and mask and   
flinging a dart at the bull's eye hanging on his wall. It head dead   
center.  
"And what did Tuxedo Mask do then?" his mother asked him, her   
hands on her hips as she looked down at him with a smile. She had   
walked into his room without him noticing.  
"He went home and ate Christmas Dinner with his mom and dad!   
After giving lots of food and toys to the hungry and lonely orphans!"  
"Of course," his mother said, smiling at him. "He would do that,   
wouldn't he?"  
"Naturally!" little Mamoru said. "He's a superhero!"  
"Okay, come along my little superhero. It's time for breakfast!"  
"Yay! Are we having pancakes, Mom?!"  
"Uh-huh. And if you can eat all of those I made you some odango,   
too."  
"Yum!"  
"Hey, shortstop," his father said, walking into the room holding   
the morning newspaper. "Do you like you gifts?"  
"Yup! I like 'em all lots!"  
"That's good, son."  
"Dad, let's go eat! Mom made pancakes!"  
"Yum!"  
Mamoru's mother laughed. "The men in my family are all alike!"  
  
"I remember that," Mamoru said, staring at the scene before him.   
"I can't remember much else from my childhood . . . but I can   
remember that."  
"You used to love Christmas, Mamoru-kun," Rei said sadly. "It was   
always a special time of the year for you. What happened to change   
all that?"  
"I'll tell you what happened!" Mamoru said angrily. "My parents   
*died*, that's what happened! We were on our way to visit some   
friends the year after this when the car skidded on a patch of ice   
and crashed. They both died instantly."  
When he looked back into the window he realized that the place and   
time had changed. "No. Not here. Never again . . ."  
"Gomen nasai, Mamoru-kun," Rei said, tears in her eyes, "but you   
have to face up to it."  
A chill wind blew outside and snow blew like white dust in the   
wind across the frozen and desolate landscape. They stood outside a   
grey weathered building. The Home for Emotionally Deprived Youth.   
The Orphanage.  
He stared in the window and saw the oh-so familiar scene before   
him. The scene that had repeated itself for so many years.  
"Merry Christmas," Mamoru said to the other boy his age, Shigeru,   
as he made his bed.  
The other boy fairly snarled at him. "Oh yeah? What's so merry   
about it?! We're in a "home". There's nothing good about today at   
all, so you can take your "Merry Christmas" and-"  
"Oh, leave Chibi-Mamoru alone!" one of the older boys, Takeru   
said. "He'll learn soon enough that there's no Christmas here."  
"Boys! Attention!" Nobuyama-san, the schoolmaster said, appearing   
in the doorway.  
The boys all straightened automatically and saluted, all but   
Mamoru who had been at the home for barely a week after getting out   
of the hospital and was still not used to the home lifestyle.  
"Chiba-san, is there a problem?" the schoolmaster asked.  
"Iie, Nobuyama-san!"  
"Then drop and give me twenty!"  
Mamoru bent over and began doing twenty push-ups on his spindly   
arms.  
"All right, the rest of you . . . go and get breakfast! Mamoru-  
san can go out and fetch water from the well!"  
"Demo . . . We have running water!" Mamoru protested, unable to   
stop himself.  
"Your point being? You will go out and get that water!"  
"All the water's frozen!"  
"Then you will chip it out until you have a bucket-full and you   
will boil it on the stove . . . and it had *better* be ice and not   
snow because that's all you're getting to eat today!" He noticed the   
rest of the boys silently watching the scene. "Well? What are you   
waiting for?! Go and eat!"  
They scampered off, one of them asking, "It's Christmas . . . I   
wonder what we'll have?"  
"What else?" another answered. "Gruel . . ."  
The schoolmaster turned as though to follow the boys, Mamoru   
sitting on the floor, staring at him in silent desolation, but paused   
in the doorway. "Oh yes, Merry Christmas!" he said, then broke into   
laughter as he left.  
Mamoru slowly got to his feet and picked up a bucket from where it   
hung on a hook on the wall. He wrapped what looked like a rag around   
his neck and shuffled towards the door, jamming his shoes on once he   
got there. Opening the door, he shivered in the cold and quickly ran   
towards the far-off well.  
"He doesn't even have a coat or mittens on!" Rei said, moving   
towards the boy.  
"Don't, Rei." Mamoru said, his head hanging, his face hidden.   
"He'd only get in more trouble. Besides, you shouldn't teach him to   
hope."  
She ignored him, making her way towards the boy. He was blowing   
on his red hands, hearing the clink of the bucket against the ice of   
the well.  
"Do you need some help there?" she asked.  
"H-H-Help?" his teeth chattered. "With what, ma'am?"  
"This well?"  
"The water's f-f-frozen."  
She smiled gently at him and pointed behind him. "Look, a crow!"  
"Where?" he asked, turning around.  
With a carefully aimed and whispered Fire Soul down the well, she   
shrugged and said, "I must've been mistaken. Hey look, there's   
water!"  
"Honto?" he asked, pulling up the bucket full of water. "Sugoi!"   
He poured the contents of the well bucket into his bucket.  
"Merry Christmas," Rei said.  
"Merry Christmas!" Mamoru said in turn, grabbing his bucket and   
rushing back towards the Home. "Merry Christmas!"  
  
"Come on, Mamoru," she said, reaching his side again. "Let's go."  
"Yes, Rei," he murmured, looking up at her, tears in his eyes.   
"Merry Christmas."  
  
They reappeared in the present with a flash and Mamoru again found   
his current spirit missing. Instead he was met with . . .  
"Minako-chan?" Mamoru asked in disbelief.  
"Of course!" she responded, sticking her tongue out at him. "You   
should be used to the routine by *now*!" I've waited long enough   
for my turn, after all!  
"It's not that," he murmured slowly. "It's what you're *wearing*   
. . ."  
"Oh, this?" she asked breezily. "The very latest in Christmas   
fashion! Do you like it?"  
"Um . . ."  
  
Let us take a moment to comment on Minako's choice of attire.   
While she wasn't dressed up in a long evening gown like Rei, or in   
black leather and chains like Haruka and Michiru, or as a Christmas   
ham like Makoto, or even in a green bathrobe and pink bunny slippers   
like Setsuna, she had certainly chosen the most bizarre attire of   
all. Okay, maybe not as bad as the Christmas ham . . . or not.  
Minako looked like a combination of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer   
and . . . well, we're not quite sure what. Keep in mind that she had   
dressed in record time too! In Mamoru's bathroom, no less.  
She wore removable felt antlers on her head, a shiny red ball   
nose, and black gloves and shoes. She was dressed in a bizarre   
outfit of clashing colors that dazzled the eye and made one slightly   
naseous upon viewing it. It looked straight out of the '70s. A   
cornucopia of fruit rested on her head between the two ivy-wrapped   
antlers, and she had wrapped sleigh bells around her neck, wrists,   
and ankles. All in all, she looked pretty strange.  
  
"It's . . . uh . . . very nice," he said in an strangled-sounding   
voice.  
"Arigato!" Yeah, you'd *better* like it! The things I go   
through for you, Usagi-chan! Mamoru-kun, you have *NO* idea what   
that girl's got stashed away in her closet. She shook her idea   
before coming to herself again. "Let's just get started, shall we?"  
"Um, you're the Ghost of Christmas Present?"  
"You got it!"  
"And you're going to show me the present? Isn't that a little   
pointless?"  
"Not really."  
With that, Ami turned the haze back on, Setsuna used her Time-  
Space magic, and they were BANG! at Usagi's house. On the roof of   
Usagi's house.  
Normally this wouldn't have been a problem, seeing as how Mamoru   
had spent many an evening perched on the roof of that very house . .   
. but never in the middle of winter with a roof covered in ice.  
"What are we doing here?" Mamoru asked.  
"Showing you the present! First, we've got to get *in* the   
house."  
"Window?"  
"No, chimney!"  
"Chimney?!"  
It took them around six or seven minutes to get to the chimney and   
then on top of it. While they were balanced precariously on top,   
Mamoru reached out a hand to steady Minako, which startled the girl   
and sent them both crashing down the chimney. The sound was enough   
to wake the dead. And Usagi's family. As for Usagi . . . well, she   
was already awake.  
  
"Usagi, is that you?!" her father called irritably downstairs.  
"No, Dad! I think it's Santa!"  
"When are you going to sleep?!"  
"When I've polished off all the food in the house!"  
"Oh, four o'clock then."  
"Then I'm going to cook some more!"  
"Don't burn down the house!" her father yelled.  
"I won't!"  
"Good night, dear!" her mother called.  
"Good night!"  
"Keep it down, Usagi!" her brother yelled. "Go to bed!"  
Usagi jabbed savagely at her cookie dough. "Ha! Like I could   
sleep! How could you do this to me, Mamo-chan?!" she said, mixing   
the bowl with a metal spoon. It broke in half and she pulled out the   
pieces and tossed them onto the pile of broken metal and wooden   
spoons in the corner of the counter.  
She poured out the dough onto a cutting board and threw little   
balls of it onto the trays she had set out. They dented the metal   
where they hit. Finishing with that, she shoved the sheet into the   
roaring oven and started on another batch of dough, this time with   
cookie cutters.  
Mamoru winced as she cut through the dough. "Does she get like   
this often?" he asked Minako.  
"You have no idea," she replied.  
They were both stuck in the fireplace where they had fallen,   
watching Usagi mutilate food in the kitchen.  
He flinched as Usagi stabbed at a carrot, then chopped it into paper   
thin slices. She began eating them.  
"Usagi hates carrots!" he said, aghast.  
"When she's mad, she'll eat anything," Minako observed.  
They both recoiled as they heard a huge crash coming from the   
kitchen. Usagi burst into tears. "My guacamole and peanut butter   
tunafish casserole is ruined!!!"  
"You're going to have to eat that tomorrow," Minako whispered.   
"So unless you want to die of food poisoning or watch you girlfriend   
get really fat thighs, you had *better* come to that party tomorrow."  
"But won't I have to *eat* the casserole tomorrow if I go?"  
"Not if she throws it out."  
They heard another sound as Usagi smacked something with a   
spatula. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!  
"Mamo-chan *SMACK!* had better *SMACK!* learn his lesson   
*SMACK!*!!!"  
"What is she killing in there?!" he asked, eyes haunted.  
"Probably just her cooking. I wouldn't worry."  
"Do I hear voices?!" Usagi muttered, stalking towards the living   
room. "Santa-san, is that you?!"  
Minako jiggled some of her bells. "Maybe she'll think I'm   
Rudolph?"  
"I wouldn't count on it! And in the mood she's in she's liable to   
*KILL* me!" Hurry, up the chimney!" The two already dusty and dirty   
individuals scampered back up the chimney.  
Usagi paused in the doorway to her living room. "Must've been a   
stray reindeer, I guess." Good job, Minako-chan!  
From up in the chimney Minako said, "So what lesson have you   
learned from this, Mamoru-kun?"  
"Christmas is a time to be very *VERY* nice to my girlfriend."  
"Very good! You pass with flying colors! Now, if you can tell me   
how to get back *up* a chimney, I'd be *much* happier right now!"  
  
Fifteen minutes later . . .  
  
Mamoru and Minako had managed to climb up out of the Tsukino's   
chimney with no little amount of difficulty. Mamoru decided that he   
had to respect Santa Claus at the very least for doing this *every*   
year.  
They popped back into his apartment where Minako proceeded to   
leave through the front door muttering something about "cleaning up."   
Mamoru took a shower and washed the soot off of his body, changing   
into more clothes since he had been keeping count and he still had   
one Senshi . . . er . . . spirit left.  
Sure enough, as soon as he left his bathroom he encountered a   
short robed figure, whose face was covered by a hood. It had a   
scythe in hand, but Mamoru was sure that she would have managed to   
look menacing even without the weapon.  
"Let me guess . . . the Grim Reaper? Okay, how about the Ghost of   
Christmas Future?" The hooded figure nodded once.  
"Hotaru, is that you?" Mamoru asked trying to peer into the hood.  
The robed figure turned away from him, pointing with its scythe.  
"What are you pointing at?" He didn't see anything unusual.  
It pointed again, more urgently this time, shaking its scythe a   
lot.  
He looked again and this time he saw that they were in the future.   
Finally! No hazy lights!  
  
Back in the present . . .  
  
Ami woke up from where she had fallen asleep behind the couch.   
"Oh, what? They left already?! Darnit!"  
"Never mind that, Ami-chan," Usagi said, the rest of the Senshi   
gathered around . . . Our little lesson is almost complete . . ."  
  
Future Christmas . . .  
  
"What's all this?" Neo-King Endymion asked as he entered, looking   
at the crowd of Senshi gathered in the throne room. A large table   
had been set with a holiday feast and everything had been decorated   
with holly and mistletoe. A Christmas tree sparkled with lights and   
ornaments in the corner.  
"Just a little Christmas party, Endymion," Neo-Queen Serenity   
said, looking around at her guests.  
"What?! I thought I said no Christmas parties! One gift per   
person . . . and everything goes on as usual!"  
Saying that he threw a large plate piled high with Christmas   
cookies into the punch bowl, splashing Hotaru in the process.   
Naturally, she saw red.  
"That's IT!" Hotaru shouted. "Endymion, I am so SICK of you   
ruining my Christmas! I spent five HOURS making all those cookies!   
Do you have ANY idea how long it takes to put sprinkles on ALL OF   
THEM?!!! And I had to SPECIAL ORDER those cookie cutters from   
twentieth century SPAIN!!! No more nice Senshi of Death and   
Destruction! Go to it!" she ordered the Ghost of Christmas Future.  
The Ghost nodded, raising the scythe high into the air.  
Mamoru noticed Endymion and Serenity blanching, Chibi-Usa covering   
her eyes, and the other Senshi running and ducking for cover. Little   
good that would do . . .  
"Hotaru, be reasonable," Haruka pleaded.  
"I'm WAY past reasonable!" the Silent Messiah responded, glaring   
at everyone. "Endymion's going to PAY for his bad behaviour and   
lousy attitude!"  
The Ghost of Christmas Future began intoning, "Death Reborn   
Revolu-!"  
"NO SATURN!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!"  
The robed figure whirled around and asked in a childish voice,   
"Why ever not, Mamoru-sama?"  
He stood dumbfounded for a moment then managed to stutter out, "D-  
D-Diana-chan?"  
The hood feel back to reveal the delicate features of the kitten-  
girl. "Hai?"  
Mamoru chose that moment to faint.  
  
Neo-King Endymion and Neo-Queen Serenity looked at their guests.  
"Coffee? Tea? Eggnog?" Endymion offered.  
"No thanks," Usagi said, as the rest of the Senshi grabbed an arm   
or a leg and hefted Mamoru up. "I'll just take my boyfriend. Domo   
arigato gozaimasu for being so accomodating!"  
"No problem," Serenity said smiling. "We know *exactly* what   
you're going through. Besides, it's been a long time since we've   
done any acting."  
"Yes," Neo-King Endymion said. "I haven't been that scrooge-like   
for a long time!"  
"Good!" Usagi said. "Oh, and thanks, Hotaru-chan!" The grown-up   
Saturn waved at her absently as she dried herself off.  
"Coming, Hotaru-chan?" Usagi asked the younger Saturn.  
"Oh yes!" the girl called. "I've got everything on videotape . .   
. from the very first scene. Except for . . . well, that scene."   
They had decided ahead of time that if Mamoru was to be confronted   
with anything too painful . . . they would let it die a quiet death.   
No need to bring that up again.  
Usagi smiled a little. "Good . . . Chibi-Usa can watch it   
someday. Bye, minna!" she called as Setsuna opened the portal for   
them to return to the past.  
"Ganbatte ne!" Neo-Queen Serenity called as they vanished. When   
they had vanished she elbowed her husband in the ribs. "You *didn't*   
have to do that!"  
"Of course I did . . . I already did it, after all." He smiled.   
"C'mon, Usako, didn't everything work out for the best?"  
She smiled smugly back at him. "Due to *my* genius!"  
  
Back in the present . . .  
  
"Maybe we did our job too well?" Usagi asked worriedly, looking   
down at the unconscious Mamoru. They had dumped him on the floor of   
his apartment after fetching him from the future.  
She and Minako exchanged a look, then: "Nah!"  
"Hey," Minako thought, "we've got to make this seem like a dream   
or else he might retaliate." She winced at the thought of being   
Chibi-Usa's permanent baby-sitter during her terrible twos . . .  
"Demo, how?" Makoto asked, peering into Mamoru's zonked out face.  
"Ami?" Rei asked, turning to the girl genius.  
Ami fidgeted for an instant. "Um, I have no idea?"  
"AMI!" everyone cried, scandalized.  
"Well look," she said, glaring at them, "I still haven't studied   
for my Physics exam two weeks from now and I'm only twelve chapters   
ahead of everyone else! I still have all my Christmas shopping to do   
and my mini-computer blew a fuse from projecting all the dream   
images! Give me a break!"  
"Kit-Kat?" Hotaru offered.  
"Um, no thanks." Ami had the decency to look abashed at her   
outburst, with reddened cheeks, sweatdrop and all.  
"O-kaaaay," Minako said, turning back around to view the other   
sweatdropping Senshi. "Does *anybody* have a plan?"  
"We could run him over with his motorcycle and stick him in the   
hospital-Nani?!" Haruka asked as the others gave her a look of   
disgust.  
"Okay, *nobody* is running over my boyfriend and future husband on   
Christmas Day morning!" Usagi said firmly, rolling her eyes.  
Michiru tapped her bottom lip with one long slender finger. "We   
need something subtle . . . something diabolically inventive . . .   
something-"  
"How about we just hit him over the head and when he wakes up we   
tell him he got drunk and it was a hangover?"  
"HOTARU!" Setsuna said, staring at her young charge.  
"Nani, Setsuna-mama? I'm fourteen! 'Sides, I saw it on TV last   
night . . ."  
"And exactly *what* were you watching?" Setsuna asked sternly.  
"Just a video Haruka and Michiru left lying around." The girl   
blushed.  
Haruka and Michiru blushed too.  
"I thought I told you to put that HBO Christmas special away!"   
Michiru hissed to Haruka.  
"I did!"  
"Then what did Hotaru see?"  
"Um, World's Lamest Home Videos?" the girl offered.  
"Never mind," Setsuna said, shaking her head. "Back to the   
problem at hand . . ."  
"I agree with Hotaru-chan!" Chibi-Usa said from the doorway.  
"Chibi-Usa-chan! When did you get here?!" Usagi demanded.  
"I saw Diana leave so I used my Time Key to follow her. I got   
here right after Mamo-chan and Minako-chan fell down the chimney!   
Why didn't you invite me, baka Odango Atama?!"  
"Oooh, you little pipsqueak, I didn't invite you because I knew   
you would ruin everything!"  
"What do you mean?! I just MISSED EVERYTHING!"  
"Which is why I had Hotaru follow Setsuna around and TAPE   
everything for you, you ungrateful brat!"  
"Honto?" the girl asked, looking up at her mother.  
"Uh-huh."  
"Well, well . . . I still think that you're a-"  
"Peace!" Diana called, reverting back to her ultra-kawaii kitty   
form. "It's Christmas Eve . . ."  
The two girls looked at one another. "Agreed."  
"Okay, we run with Hotaru-chan's idea," Usagi said decisively.   
"Haruka can do it. You know how he is with forgetting *ME*, though,   
so just don't hit him too hard, okay?"  
The Senshi signaled okay with her fingers and she gingerly made   
her way through the crowd to her future king. She tapped him once on   
the head then made her way back to Usagi. "All taken care of."  
"You sure?" Usagi asked dubiously.  
"Yup." Haruka winked. "Secret pressure point on the head . . ."  
"Okay, whatever." Usagi grimaced. "Time to set everything up.   
Someone go out and get the beer."  
"I'll go!" Ami said immediately.  
They looked at her for an instant.  
"Ami-chan . . . is there something you're not telling us?" Minako   
asked hesitantly.  
The blue-haired girl made a face. "Don't you worry about me.   
Honestly, Minako-chan, come with me if you like. We just need some   
empty cans, ne? I've got a friend who works at the recycling plant.   
We can get some beers cans easily enough."  
"Good." Usagi nodded briskly. "Minna . . . let's go!"  
  
Christmas Day morning . . .  
  
"Mamoru-sama! Mamoru-sama!" a voice called and he thought he felt   
someone shaking him. A pitcher of cold water was flung into his face   
and he bolted upright. "NANI?!"  
He saw Diana crouched down near him, looking worried. The pitcher   
was on the ground next to her. "Daijobu, Mamoru-sama?"  
"I've got *such* a headache . . ." he said, blinking. It was then   
that he realized that he was lying on the floor by the couch in his   
own apartment. "Was it . . . all just a dream?"  
"You seem pretty hung-over," Diana observed.  
"I do?" He looked over and saw empty beer cans littered about his   
apartment. HUNDREDS of empty beer cans.  
Ami-sama and Minako-sama did their job a little *too* well,   
Diana thought nervously.  
"How much did I DRINK?!" Mamoru asked incredulously.  
"Uh . . . I think you had a wild party and did some table   
dancing!" Diana said hurriedly.  
"NANI?!!! Okay, that's it, I'm NEVER drinking again!" he   
declared.  
Well, that's good. "Hey, Mamoru-san, shouldn't you get up now?"  
He did so, then gave her an odd look. "What are you doing here,   
Diana-chan?"  
"Well, Chibi-Usa came back to spend Christmas Day with the   
Tsukinos, and I came with her to spend it with my parents. Usagi   
sent me over to see if you were going to come to the Christmas party   
or not."  
"Oh, that's right!" he groaned. "The Christmas party . . . Yeah,   
uh, tell her I've just got some cleaning up to do." He surveyed the   
damage in his apartment again.  
"Okey-dokey," Diana said, picking her way through the beer cans to   
the door.  
"Oh, Diana-chan?"  
"Hai?"  
"One last thing. Merry Christmas!"  
"Merry Christmas, Mamoru-sama!" she said, smiling widely.  
  
Later that morning . . .  
  
Usagi sighed, her fist posed above Mamoru's door ready to knock.   
She took another deep breath and rapped lightly on the door before   
running to the other side of the hallway.  
The response from within was immediate. "Yes? Who is it?" Mamoru   
asked calmly.  
"It's me!" she called in relief.  
"Oh. I'll be right there," he said brightly.  
She smiled happily and stepped in front of the door once more.   
The door opened with a bang and light from the hallway flooded into   
his dim apartment.  
She stepped inside and blinked in surprise. "Wow, Mamo-chan, it's   
so clean in here!"  
"Yeah, I thought I'd clean up after our little talk yesterday . .   
. and, um, other things."  
She walked up to him and put her arms on his shoulders. He did   
the same to her. "So are you coming over to my house or not?" she   
asked.  
He looked searchingly at her for a long instant. The seconds   
ticked by, then . . .  
"Hai, Usako. I'd love to spend Christmas with you and your   
parents."  
"Great!" she yelled, flinging her arms around him and holding him   
tight.  
"It is Christmas after all," he whispered in her ear. "Your dad   
will just have to put his shotgun away . . . So, Usako, ready for   
your gift?"  
She nodded exuberantly, her face pressed against his.  
He pulled away and pulled something out from underneath the couch.   
"Merry Christmas, Usako," he said as he handed her the wrapped gift.  
She tore it open gingerly, trying to save the paper, and pulled   
out . . . a framed picture of Neo-Queen Serenity, Neo-King Endymion,   
and Princess Usagi with Diana atop her head dressed up like Mrs.   
Claus, Santa Claus, and an elf, and what looked like the Ghost of   
Christmas Future respectively. She stared at it for a long time   
before murmuring, "You knew?!"  
"No, not at first," he said, smiling good-naturedly. "But Neo-  
King Endymion must've slipped this to me while I was asleep."  
"How do you know that?"  
"I wrote myself a note. Anyway, I noticed it in my pocket while I   
was searching for my car keys when I ran out of cleaning fluid today.   
After I'd taken a look everything made sense."  
"Are you mad?"  
"No, Usako. I'm giving this picture to you to show that I have   
learned my lesson. Christmas is a time for families, for giving and   
loving. It's *not* a time to make people you love miserable. You're   
my family now, Usako, and from now on I promise to make all of our   
Christmases together special."  
"Oh, Mamo-chan!" she said again, flinging herself into his arms   
once more. They kissed and then-  
"*Ahem.* That's quite enough. Are we going to go to this   
Christmas party or not?"  
They turned to see the Senshi standing in the doorway, Rei first   
and foremost.  
"Minna," Mamoru said, "domo arigato for a very . . . *unusual*   
Christmas."  
The Senshi colored.  
"Um, okay, let's go," Makoto said hurriedly. "I've got a *real*   
ham in the car."  
"It's no good, Mako-chan," Ami said airily, "from all reports   
we've already got one right here!" She pulled Haruka out from where   
she had been hiding behind Michiru.  
"Hey!" Minako protested. "What do you mean?! We all know my   
performance was superior . . ."  
"No, I don't think so," Rei retaliated, "I was the best."  
"I'm sorry but history will judge *me* as the best performer last   
night . . ." Setsuna began, trailing the others who had begun to   
leave.  
Usagi turned once more to Mamoru. "Shall we, Mamo-chan?"  
"Lead on, my lady," he replied, offering her his arm. She took it   
and together they left the apartment, shutting the door behind them   
as they went, keeping always the feeling of Christmas in their   
hearts.  
"Usako, I don't have to eat that casserole, do I?"  
"Every bite! That wasn't acting, you know . . ."  
"Demo, Usako-"  
"Just kidding! Merry Christmas, Mamo-chan!"  
"Merry Christmas, Usako. The very merriest Christmas."  
  
And a very Merry Christmas from me to you!  



End file.
